Dissection of a Beautiful Lie


Confused in my heart and in my head

if it’s you I miss or what I thought we had

Becoming myself without you

Backward looks are mixed

You never really loved me

I was always your charade

For years you fucking lied to me

Too closeted, too afraid

How can I miss what never was?

Was I  so fucking blind?

I should have known you weren’t mine

When you didn’t know my heart

I should have known you weren’t mine

I was muted from the start

You slyly mocked my soul

Said my work was pointless

Dismissive through control

For 20 years I loved you

Thought I wasn’t good enough

I never had a chance

I never had a clue

That I was always innocent

The fault lay all with you

You kept me far away

Built walls I couldn’t see

Ignored me every day

I laid blame at my own feet

Maybe I never loved you

Just the myth you deftly wove

Or maybe you really fooled me

Thought the joke was well-played

Mistaken your assumption

That I could not go on

I will rise above

Darkness has not won

My soul no longer stagnant

My spirit stretches wings

Light shines through my hell

I feel it strengthen me

I am

Rising stronger

Rising healed









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